Garebare

Shoes

(Man I am so hipster)

Growing up, I wasnt really wealthy.  I only owned 1 pair of shoes up until beginning of college and never really understood the concept of owning more than 1 pair of shoes.  I would get 1 pair of shoes before the beginning of every school year, and I would use them for everything, walking, school, church, basketball, sports, hiking, etc.  They would last about 2-3 years before they started turning into pieces of cloth with shoelaces.  It wasnt until college where I realized I needed some water proof shoes, then some running shoes, then some sandals, then some basketball shoes, etc.

Maybe it was just me trying to be manly but I thought it was always ridiculous for a guy to have more than 2 pairs of shoes, one for sports, one for everything else.  But now that I have gotten older, maybe more than one pair of shoes is necessary.

Anyway, I dont remember where I was going with this post.  But I didnt think I would have been able to put those shoes on again (Which I actually got from a friend).  When you have been injured for a couple of months, and your new shoe is a medical boot, then things like basketball are just not in your brain.  Only thing that drives you is the fact that you WILL be walking again without a boot.  Yeah you can sit around and not do anything, or you can force yourself to go through some pain, shoot the ball around, and force yourself to start doing work again.  Being able to sit down, sweaty from shooting around, man little things like that just make you appreciate life a little bit more.

-Garebare out.

May

Holy crap its May  already.  In an effort to increase my writing skills, I am going to practice writing more so here’s to writing alot more!

Senior year in high school was not a very easy senior year.  In fact, it was one of the hardest years in high school for me.  I was in the magnet program so 2 of my 6 classes were technically 4 classes students would switch teachers about every 5 weeks.  And you also get a written core final every 10 weeks where you summarize everything that you learned into 1 essay that you write for 2 hours straight.  in class.  I kid you not, it was absolutely ridiculous and if you still do not believe me ye of little faith, we have the outlines damnit, we have the outlines.  So your grade for 2 of the classes came from an average of 6 total grades, 4 class grades and 2 essay grades.  

On top of that, we had the “ism” project where you create a culture such as communism or capitlism.  But you had to make it your own, create a font that suits your “ism” (yeah buddy, you gotta hand draw all of it), make a book describing your “ism” and you had to do a presentation on it in class.  So I chose “Player Hater-ism” based on the Chappelle Show skit with my team and we just got to dress like pimps and act herp derp.

And this was just 2 of my classes.  I can keep going on but everyone who went to my HS who reads this does not want to remember the horrors of war. Rodriguez and Calc or Core.  Besides, my philosophy teacher was legit insane and was a hipster gandalf who was freaking rich.

So now that I am a senior in college, I have definitely chosen the easier path though I did not welcome it.  I made my fall semester where I would work my ass off, which I did, so that second semester, i can have a lot of freetime and work during that time.  However, I got injured so I was not able to work and instead, was forced to remain home since mobility was an issue.  Yeah it sucks, and yeah, I never expected to get injured, but God works in silly ways and has a great sense of humor.

When high school ended, I remember laying in bed knowing that I no longer had any care in the world.  College was all set, no more SAT’s or accepetence letters, no more 12 page written finals, no more stress, life was going ahead and I was excited because it was the first time in my life where I had a summer in which I did not worry about a thing.

Now that as college is ending, that same feeling is settling back.  Job for the future is all set, no more finals, no more tests, no more school.  But it is different, because this time, will truly be the last time when I can relax like this.  No more summer or winter breaks, cant afford to make any more mistakes, cant chill by the lake, cant casually eat steak.  Wat.  

Soon, I will be thinking of marriage and wholly crap kids.  Man.. I’ll let future Gary worry about that.  Because for now, I am gonna relax and enjoy as much of life as I can before I get into the work grind.

You know what they say about the hospitality industry, no early retirement, hospitality for life.

Here’s to it!

-Garebare out.

(what my philosophy teacher looked like.)

Almost the end

Senior appreciation..grad night.. what a ride it has been.

So there is actually alot to say about Symphony Church but for now, I’ll just keep it simple.  Grad night tonight and man that was awesome.  

I am not going to lie, when I heard about Grad Night fall semester, I litearally would spend time when I am not doing stuff, thinking about what I was going to say.  Just throughout this whole year, thinking, what will be my legacy, and I realized, it will be that of lulz.

On a side but somewhat related note, I was talking to Debby about AACF Senior Appreciation and how it was called a “Black tie affair.”  I was telling her that I was going to wear a silver tie just to troll them, and Debby replied, “You are such a troll.”  

For reasons unknown, I dont fully understand why I am the way I am, and as I write this, I hear the words of Michael Scott telling Toby from the Office,”Why are you the way you are?”

I dont know why I am the way that I am.  But one thing I realize (and I am sure you do) is that I laugh alot.  When people say stuff, I usually just think of the funnier side of things because life is way too short to be taken seriously.  Stressing out about temporary things of this world is definitely not worth it compared to the joy that this world has to offer through Jesus.  

So as I rushed through my testimony of how I came to Symphony, trying to make it under Pastor Barry’s/Shan’s 5 minute time limit, I had time to do the “song” that I was super nervous about because I dont know how the staff would react. (spoiler alert, I was not excommunicated.)

The “song” was something that I heard when I went to an Intervarsity retreat and it made me do the lulz.  I am sure someone recorded it so it will be on Facebook somewhere.  But because of this song, I actually missed the last paragraph, which was words of encouragement.

(Ok I just thought of this as I think of the outline in my head but I am going to add this here in parenthesis. In my leadership class, one of the lowest things I scored on was “Encouraging words,” which was not surprising to me.  It is only lulz that the only words of encouragement I had in my testimony was not said.  lawls.)

So I thought about it (briefly) and  decided that I will post what I was sharing here so that you can read it slowly since I am sure I was speaking really super fast.

So thanks for bearing with me, here it is.  On a side note, I have been thinking about making a blog strictly for writing my memoirs and other silly tidbits of my life since I realized my life isn’t exactly normal.  I currently have no motivation to do this, but if you want to motivate me, please send me a message in my inbox encouraging me.  (you can do it anonymously.)

—-

It is crazy that I am writing this because it signals that a chapter of my life is now closing as I get ready to write my next chapter.  When I first came to college, I was not sure what to expect as I was not sure of even where Boston was.  When I arrived, I started going to a church far away, and I went because of 2 reasons, 1) I did not want to go to a church just because all my friends went there, and 2) I heard that church was looking for drummer.  So when I went to this church, I was disappointed because they already had a drummer, but I decided to commit to them for the rest of the year.  I did not grow spiritually mainly because I had no friends who went to that church, they had a very late Sunday service, and I made no effort to get closer to their community or invest in them.  My freshmen year was a blur as I was not very close to God at all.

So as sophomore year began, I took a deep sigh and told myself that I would try to make an effort to invest at this church, but after a few months, I found that I could not do it.  About late November, I was in my dorm when a friend told me about a new church that just started that was again, looking for a new drummer.  I told myself, sure why not, and went.  

When I first arrived at Symphony, I was a little taken back because the person giving announcements seemed like he had way too much energy for giving announcements.  But as I attended service, I was taken aback by the passion for God in which everyone else had and that was displayed by the staff and the people who represented themselves as “Symphony”.  I remembered I wanted to worship with this church the first time I entered and I told myself that this church would be the place where I can grow.  I was not even worried about praise team, but instead, wanted to serve this church because i immediately fell in love with it.  Friday night fellowships were at Pastor Barry’s house and would consist of less than 10 people but were by far the best memories I had because they were so similar to how my Friday services were back home at my old church.  

Family groups were also a trip because back then, there were 2 family groups, one with Doug and Cami, the other with Cindy and Patrick, and I remembered checking the box to join a family group but I never got an email.  It was only until I was invited by Grace Haeun that I first came out to Wednesday family group and officially began my journey with Symphony.

Praise team was also really weird when I first started to play because I did not really understand the intricacies of singing.  I thought you just play music, sing words, worship Jesus with your heart, and that was it.  But when Sunny would ask all the vocals to sing, no instruments, and it sounds amazing, but Sunny stops everyone and says someone is singing the wrong pitch or what have you.  That was very weird to me.

But man did college go by fast.   I was a junior already and as soon as I know it, I was in London.  After that, boom, I was a senior already and I was thinking of what I have to say for grad night or senior appreciation.  I am truly thankful for this community because this community has shown me what it really means to be a kingdom worker.  I did not think I would ever be in a place where I can be comfortable with those I can call “family” yet still be fired up and passionate for God myself.  It is crazy seeing how God has grown this church, coming from 2 family groups, to over 10, from 30-40 people service, to over 100, and going from ordering food for Sunday congregation, to making Chicken Basil Pesto.  Props to the hospitality team for doing an awesome job every Sunday.  

In lieu of my injury, again I saw the graciousness and the huge heart of those who come to Symphony, whether it’s David giving me a ride after encore, or Pastor Barry praying for my leg to heal randomly whenever he walks by.  I know it may not seem like it, but the grace and love everyone has shown me is something I really do appreciate and use to emulate within my work place and what not.  It is crazy being part of this Symphony family, always knowing that when I come back to Boston, that this church will still be here, with a huge passion and heart for God.  So as I think of the theme of this chapter that is about to end, I think of the theme of “grace” because that is what something that God has poured out abundantly onto me.

I would like to end with two things, one, to find the joy in life and not take things too seriously.  You guys all know I am not a very serious person 90% of the time, and I think one thing that has gotten me through alot of rough, tiring, and straining times was being able to see the joy in God’s creation and just everything around me.  So dont ever miss out on the beauty, the joy, and the happiness that God has for you.  If you find that you force yourself to smile, to laugh, and to enjoy everything that Jesus has made for you, you will see that you will actually start to enjoy it.  I would also like to end this chapter with a closing song.  

—

 -garebare out

Happy Anniversary!

to da coolest lady I know.  Thanks for letting me part of your life the last couple of years as we have made some awesome memories.  I still wonder (and I am sure every single person who knows we are dating wonders) how lucky I got to be able to have a woman like you in my life, but I am sure that is just how the grace of God works, MAGICALLY.  

Not only have you been a great webcam buddy, travel buddy, camping homie, silly goose, and an amazing girlfriend to me, most importantly you have been an awesome and a best friend!

Thanks for the incredible journey.  Here is to many more years to come!

-Gary out

Iron..leg?

I remember the first Sunday back at my home church after my injury and the last Sunday before I left for Boston, I was sitting during lunch, talking to the new pastor, shooting the crap, talking about my injury, when one of my family friend’s dad came up to us, put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Man this guy, never make his life boring.”

As I sit and reflect on my college experiences, it is slowly hitting me as I buy my one way ticket from Boston to LA what exactly the hell I was doing in Boston.  I honestly had no idea where Boston even was when I was in high school, and so as I look past, I think to myself, what the hell was I doing.  But that post will be for a later day.

When i look at this protective covering at my leg, I like to think that I am Iron Man and that this ghetto cast is the armor that Tony Stark keeps improving.  

Mach 1 armor.

It is crazy going from being super active, to being so limited to walking.  I am not gonna lie, it was freaking tough, but when there is no struggle, there is no strength.  But if I was really being honest with myself, it was definitely a pride thing too.  I will admit, I am too proud to ask people for help when I need it.  I am too proud to say, “Can you help me with this?” and I am too proud to say, “Yeah, this sucks.”  

So what did this injury tell me?  Painkillers are awesome.  Just kidding (not really). But seriously though, it made me realize how blessed I am to have this community who is willing to help a stubborn beast like me (at least I think so)

It also made me realize that even a bear needs to swallow his pride and ask for help.  Of course I am not asking for help from you you punks, I am talking about GOD.

har har har.

But foreal though, my relationship with God these past couple of months made me realize, who is really in control of my life?  Why am I trying so hard to push God’s hand away and say, “I got this.” (This was actually a phrase I used alot during my leadership at church in High School.)

This injury definitely brought to light the struggle within me to let go of the proverbial steering wheel and let God take control of my life.  He has always been gracious enough to provide and I shouldn’t try and take command of my own life when even I dont know where I am going.

So as I slowly leave this Mach 3 armor (which was definately the worst at least), and I get ready to transition into Mach 4, I need to remind myself to trust, trust trust, because come on, have you guys ever seen a bear drive?

wat

—-

Time for some random cripple stories.

So I went to China for my spring break because of a class trip and man, China was aiight.  Reason why i wasnt too excited about China is because everyone, freaking everyone, spoke to me in Chinese.  And I honestly think its because I didn’t get a haircut because I have seen mops with better heads then I did.

I actually had my Mach 2 armor which actually allowed me to walk without my crutches.  Prior to that though, I was preparing for Symphony Retreat that Friday and I was getting really sick of crutches.  Up till this point, I was told I can slowly start walking again with the boot.  I remember I was just really frustrated  that i said, EFF IT, and I just forced myself to walk without the crutches, which definitely hurt like hell, but dammit at least I can walk.

So back to China, I remember climing the Great Wall of China and damn, it was a freaking journey.  But I just remember the look of the Chinese people’s face when they saw this guy with crutches and a boot climbing the wall.  I am willing to bet that I got called all sorts of crazy ass, brave, and dumbass in Chinese because just the looks on their face.

Then walking through Tienanmen Square and Imperial Palace with a bag on my boot since it was raining was definately something I would do again if I was not crippled.  I am too lazy to post pictures so I’ll do it later, but China was pretty cool but I def would not go back since I cannot speak Chinese.

Hong Kong was seriously so cool though and I would go back.

—-

Man I havent written in a while and it clearly shows.  I need to practice writing some more.  Thats it for today,

-Garebare out.